uncleal's diary 2 comments so far

uncleal's Diaryland Diary


Is Introverted the same as shyness?

Yesterday, I was sick. And in being sick, I did not read any newspapers. However, since I wrote an entry Wednesday asking for feedback, and I got none, my topic for today is shyness.

I checked my stats, and while not a ton of people were on reading my opinions, there were more than one. And yet, I received no comments. This leads me to believe that either those of you that read my page, are either men with no girlfriends, or shy.

Since if you were men with no girlfriends, I would hope that I would've gotten comments before, when I was writing about my sex life. And yet, nothing. So, I am left to believe that you are virile people of both sexes, and are just shy. I'm sure that each of you read my entry, and then looked to see that no one else had commented, so decided that you did not want to be the first.

Having never been the shy type, myself, I find this interesting. I wonder what it is that makes somebody shy. Is it fear of humiliation? Why worry so much about what other people think of you? Especially these people, whom you have never met, will probably never meet, and have no reason to fear? Is it me you fear? Because let me tell you, I'm the one putting these posts up. Obviously, I have nowhere to throw rocks from. My posts are not cleverly written, I do not possess a fantastic vocabulary that will stun you with its depth, and for the most part, I am not writing on topics that are intelligent, or profound.

Hmm. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you feel I am not worth your time, that you shan’t deign to discuss such lowly topics. Perhaps, instead of shy, you are just snobs!! Well, if that isn’t exactly the problem with being shy, that most of my shy friends face. Too many times they have been accused of snobbery, when in reality the very people who felt they were being snubbed, were the people that my friends were afraid of embarrassing themselves in front of.

Now, myself, I am the opposite of shy. On my birthday, I hope someone will tell the waiter to bring me a flaming dessert and sing to me. When the magician or hypnotist calls out to the audience for volunteers, I wave my arm like a 5 year old girl. If I have a speech to make, I take a few moments to warm up the crowd, and I speak boldly, and look each person in the eye – if I can. However, when I have to talk to someone I specifically hope will like me, I can’t utter a single intelligent thing. Now, in my more mature years, I have discovered that in those times of personal shyness, the best thing for me to do is say nothing. Rather I choose to make faces that lead the other person to assume that I feel the same way they do, or at least can see it from their point of view. Sometimes, I completely fail at this, because, well simply because I either have no idea what they’re talking about, or I completely disagree with them. For instance – at lunch each day I sit with a bunch of the upper echelon of our company. I got this prized seat completely by association. One of the girls I do a lot of work for sits with them, because she is part of the upper echelon, and she invited me to eat lunch with her during my first week. I have managed to keep this sought-after position by smiling graciously, and looking keenly at my lunch when I can’t put on the right expression. Often I make it through a whole meal without saying much at all. If you know me, or have gathered anything about me through reading this, you know that this is quite a feat, since I am a babbling fool. But, due to my ability to allow people to think I think what they want me to, I am an accepted member of the ‘elite’ table. As a member of this table, when I put in a work request, it is put to the top of the priority list, and when I ask a favor, it is done – immediately.

If you are one of the people who are reading this and fail to comment because you are shy, and don’t want to be the first, how about dropping me a note. You won’t be the first there, and maybe just this small step will lead to taking other bold steps in life. Maybe it won’t, but you’ll be making yourself feel good for taking an extroverted step, and you’ll make me feel good to know that people out there are reading this.

Or don’t.

Either way, I have to get to lunch before my insides eat themselves.

Thank you for your patronage… even if you don’t comment

11:43 a.m. - 2006-10-13


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