Pat - 2006-10-24 23:17:46
You're not terribly bright, are you? Look up "the Twinkie defense." Everything you're pondering has already been pondered, tried in a court of law, and dealt with. For that matter, try understanding that any person with logic and a brain would never marry someone they didn't want to father their children, making your question of whether or not cheating can ever be excused obsolete. These are not difficult equations. Do you ever scratch beneath the surface, ever? P.S. Since you aren't all that bright, and haven't figured out that there is an error if you try to leave a comment over at ltrs2lucian, I have to leave my comment about every single entry you've ever written in that journal here: If you love your son even remotely, if you care about his well-being just a tiny bit, even if you don't understand why I'm saying this, please, PLEASE... do not ever show him ANY of those "letters." If you ever grow up, if you ever decide you care more about your son than yourself, you will realize what is obvious to the casual reader - and that is... he doesn't ever need to know how disgustingly self-absorbed you are, or how much his father has distanced himself from your insanity. He will discover in time what his father is or isn't, so don't you dare show him those bullshit entries that don't stop talking about how much his father doesn't give a shit. How utterly selfish are you? Why would you want your child to ever see such things? You're afraid your son won't know you were a good mother unless you hurt him by telling him his father was worse. Shame on you. May you eventually grow the fuck up and protect your child from the hurt you yourself felt. Good luck to you both. Your son is going to need it.
Me - 2006-10-25 16:00:39
Actually, I never said I was the brightest crayon in the box. And since you obviously looked up this particular question and answer means that you also pondered this issue. Just because it has been presented in court, and a decision has been made, doesn't mean that everybody agrees. Today I overheard that gay marriage has been legalized somewhere. I didn't pay enough attention to find out where, but simply because it has been decided, doesn't mean that everybody agrees with the decision. And I'm sure that right now as I type this someone somewhere is discussing whether it should be so.
Also, please carefully read my entry. It is geneticly coded in women to want a strong masculine male to father her babies, and a stable, responsible male to raise them. It is civilization, that imposes your "logic and a brain" to marry the man they want to raise their babies. And, unfortunately, more often than not these days this is not the case. Hello rampant amounts of single mothers!!!!!
As for the letters to my son - I fully intend to let him read them. When he's an adult and has children of his own, or asks me what I was like when he was a kid. By then, I'm sure he will have formed his own opinions on his father. And since I DO care about his feelings, I DON'T make these comments out loud. Not even now when he is seemingly too young to be influenced by my words. I am always careful to keep my opinions about his biological father either positive, or when I can't, neutral.
And, by the way, I'm not so stupid I don't know about the comments section not working in my son's letters journal, I purposely have it turned off, because despite it being on the internet, it is a private journal. If you want to comment on it, feel free to leave me a note over there.
P.S. since I have never mentioned this journal in those letters, nor those letters in this journal, you have given yourself up as someone who once knew me. And obviously are still upset by some imagined wrong I did you.
Jayme - 2006-10-25 22:55:15
Yes these ideas have been pondered before, even tried and dealt with but that has never stopped anyone from pondering the same issues over and over again. It is part of how we DO advance as a civilized society. Is this not the point of psychology? Philosophy? To suddenly decide that a topic is no longer worth pondering based solely on the idea that it has already been pondered seems like a waste of a great mind, which I believe both Allyson and I to have.
So on to that…
I have read just recently that a woman, not on her period, but during ovulation is more attracted to the stronger type of male but once she is no longer actively searching to get pregnant, she wants a fairer faced, softer more gentle male to partner with. This of course makes perfect sense to me and makes perfect sense that it would be doing ovulation that a woman is most likely to cheat. The whole idea of breeding and picking a mate is to find one whom shows the best genes to pass on to your offspring. This is why in certain animal kingdoms there is only one male breeder and as soon as he is killed off; his offspring are killed off and replaced too. Humans on the other hand have a different society then that of animals. In a world where we need longer consistent stable support to raise our young and do not have the benefit of a whole tribe raising our offspring we have to relay on a good supportive mate. It is very difficult, or at least seemingly so, to find a mate that is both, so what better “solution” then to screw that hot, strong, virile, young mail boy at the office and go home to your smart, supportive, understanding, older husband.
As for whether or not, riding the crimson wave or even ovulating, make a valid defense against cheating or even picking a bad partner for sex and then later marrying a more understanding, mature one… we have certain blamed worse things with less valid reasons. I think what makes any defense both believable and valid in the eyes of others depends on more then just the given reasons involved… and that IS where our sense of logic as a more evolved species comes in to play.
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